What if we stopped having all church services built around a women’s retreat/conference theme and started teaching males how to be men?
(That’s a rhetorical question, BTW)
Men need a man in church to say hard things to them in a challenging and encouraging way. They do not need, nor will they ever respond to, the church standard empty statements like,”man up”.
(Notice, that exact statement is never followed with any sort of helpful insight as to exactly what it means to “man up”.)
Again, a man will tolerate these nothing-burger sayings and then offer the same response back to his local church leadership by never attending any men’s ministry events as the pastor just telegraphed what sort of “teaching” will be provided.
In case you doubt, get a head count of attendees at your local churches women’s events vs. men’s events. In brutal honesty, some churches will cancel planned men’s events for lack of interest and sign ups. Men simply have no time to sit through 2-3 hours more of “man ups” under the guise of “men’s ministry”. We, by God’s design, look for solutions to problems and that isn’t one.
Adam showed us back in Genesis that the sin we often commit as men is being passive. Giving in when standing ground may cause a scene. Knowing the right thing to do but freezing up. Letting things slide.
Phrase it however you want, we are masters at rationalizing our weakness.
Men need to be encouraged to take responsibility for themselves and others in their world. Make well thought out, rational decisions in every aspect of our lives, seeking wisdom where it may be found.
Men need to be built up to be what God designed them to be, not hearing church leadership DJ’ing the worlds latest insults back at them, nor led by the hand and going with the flow. Going with the flow helped bring the original sin to the world and has allowed our current world to be in the sad shape it is in today.
We will need to encourage the few men around us in our church communities to share the wisdom they’ve gained through the years on work, health, finances, marriage, raising kids, the faith, ministry, life.
We cannot expect the church to meet these needs, it has slacked off and followed the worlds model of man-bashing under the guise of “men’s ministry”.
Yes I know, not every church, not every men’s ministry. There are some doing good work. We should share that with every man we know then and in the meantime look for ways we can offer whatever we have learned to other men.
Don’t quit, Don’t ever quit.